Words of Life For Your Marriage

I have counseled hundreds of marriages and it is clear that the marriages which withstand circumstances are the ones who have life spoken over it. Those marriages that fail are those which received words of death. What are words of death? Divorce, hate, resentment, anger, bitterness, anything negative. Words of life speak of hope, love, kindness, patience, peace, gentleness, never failing, never giving up. The moment someone says they are "done" is the moment the power of death comes to a marriage. Marriage is a commitment, a covenant for life and the moment divorce is spoken, death is brought to the marriage. Negativity turns sickness into death!  

Choosing growth and transformation brings life to a marriage. Choosing to speak positively instead of negatively despite what you see in the natural and despite the circumstances, brings life and overcomes the infirmities in the marriage. It brings healing where there is sickness.  If you have ever felt "fed up" with your partner, hopeless about your marriage, and considered separation or divorce, you should look at the words that you speak about your marriage and over your spouse.  

I challenge you to examine your words.  What you speak is a direct result of the condition of your heart.  I challenge you to look at yourself, rather than your spouse.  I challenge you to choose life over death.  To choose life-giving words such as those you spoke at your ceremony..."I do".  I do want a healthy marriage.  I do believe we can get through this.  I do maintain my commitment in sickness and in health.  I do forgive.  I will move forward.  We will grow in our marriage.  We will experience a complete transformation!  

COPYRIGHT © 2013.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Choosing Love

When you married your spouse, if you were like most people, you were "in love".  And sometimes those feelings begin to diminish.  The reason these feelings can diminish is because being "in love" is an infatuation, a feeling.  And like all feelings, it can come and go.  

Surprisingly, love is not a feeling.  It is an action.  Love is a choice.  When people say they have "fallen out of love", well they are no different than anyone else because the novelty and infatuation, the lust, wears off and often goes away with the day to day grind of life.  The difference between people who stay loving one another and those who do not comes down to choices.  The choice to love.  Choosing to love when you do not "feel like it" or you feel that your spouse "doesn't deserve it" is what actually keeps your love alive.  It is in those difficult moments when you want to give up, but choose to love anyways, that you actually experience transformation in your marriage.  

So what does "choosing to love" look like?  It is choosing to stay silent when you want to "go off".  It is choosing to peace over war.  It is choosing to be positive when you want to be negative.  It is choosing kindness and gentleness.  Choosing to succeed over failure.  Choosing to be humble.  Choosing resolution over a win.  

Choosing to love is choosing to remove yourself in order to grow and transform your marriage.  And in doing so, you will experience an added benefit of growth and transformation within yourself! 

COPYRIGHT © 2013.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.